Sometimes you spend an insane amount of time just cruising through Facebook and Myspace profiles of people that you know/knew. It really is an eye-opening experience. You get the chance to see people from high school you graduated with, friends from sports teams you played on when you were young, parents of friends and so much more. I have to think about the people I no longer am in direct contact with. What if I was? If I had not lost contact with so many people from my high school, would I still have been in New Jersey? When I graduated from high school, I never had any intentions to ever leave my home state. My friends changed; I changed; everything just seemed to change. Not all of it was the "things changed for the better kind" either. I've lost friends due to misunderstandings, stubborness, rumors and I'm sure other things. I never planned any of it, but like I said before, if everything went perfectly, where would I be today?
As many of you know, I became very complacent living in New Jersey. I had a degree in journalism, but I was working at Staples. I did not question my existence as a business machines specialist. I did not question that I was 23 and still living with my parents. I did not even question my own existence. Moving to the state of Washington was the best and worst thing that has ever happened to me. It was a change that I needed, but once I had arrived here, more change occurred.
Time changes people, and that is what happened. I moved out here with my girlfriend at the time. Our move out here just turned us into two entirely different people. There just seemed to be added pressure on the both of us, probably more so on her due to financial situations on my part. Also we both knew that she would eventually be moving up to Spokane and I'd be stuck in Pullman. The changes, in addition to the pressures of living alone for the first time and everything else, ultimately cause the end of the relationship (even though events surrounding the conclusion may make it SEEM like there were outside factors, they played no part in what occurred). Even though we knew that from the start, the breakup was another thing that was obviously never planned.
So there I was in a state I never planned to live in no longer with the person I planned to be living with. It may not sound like a big deal, but understand, it was someone I was with for a good amount of time and I was more than 3,000 miles from home. Over the coming months, I did find solace in someone. Her existence in my life was something that was never planned. But there she was, and eventually, there WE were.
In regards to school, she got in on her first application for the teaching program at the Washington State University - Pullman campus. I was supposed to get in on my first try as well, except events that were out of my control (mostly) affected my grades. This cause me to NOT get into the program. Obviously, this is something that I never planned. I thought I only had two years left of school, but alas, I was wrong. I told myself that I have to buckle down the next semester so then I can get into the teaching program. Unfortunately, I buckled down a little too late. I went through the first month as if I were on a cloud. I missed a lot of easy assignments and attendence that cost me a letter grade or two. I screwed myself. Once again, my application to the program was denied.
Here I am today, a few weeks after reading my letter of denial. I feel like a better person because of it. I have no excuses as to why I just tried to float on by last semester. It was 100% my fault and nobody elses. I grew up that day.
The thing that is ironic is that my failure to get into the teaching program TWICE is actually ending up to be a good thing. When you're in the program, you need to student teach for a semester. For some strange and stupid reason, they won't allow my girlfriend to do that in Pullman, even though this is our home. So, she would be forced to move away for a year and student teach in the Seattle area. We thought we had no other options until our best friends Chris and Jessica came over a few nights ago. They are moving back to their home in Olympia (I'll get more to them in a second). The idea (somehow) came up about moving to the west side. I wasn't listening too closely to this because Chris and I were declaring our love for Street Fighter IV. Eventually, it turned into the idea of moving to Vancouver, WA to finish up our college tenure. This actually made perfect sense: Ashlee and I could transfer to that area where I could BEGIN the program and she can FINISH it. As much as we wish the town of Pullman wasn't kicking us out, we have no choice but to leave. It's a good thing though because Vancouver actually has things to do and is fifteen minutes from Portland, OR. So as if this blog posting, Ashlee and I are probably four months away from moving to Vancouver, WA.
I hope this story can show you how even though life may not go as planned, it can still work out for the better. I never planned to not make the program, or not have the relationship work with the person I moved here with, or move to Washington in general (it really was a semi-whim). Almost everything I DID plan went to shit (sort of). It's just important to not let life knock you down for too long where you can't get yourself back up. Whatever life gives you, find a way to do something positive with it. I hope that makes sense.
My future plans (I know, I've made that word seem scary) are my move to Vancouver, WA where I will get into the teaching program for the beginning of the Summer semester. I also plan to start writing my book. I started writing one about five years ago, but unfortunately the twenty pages I had written for it were deleted off of my computer back in New Jersey. I might as well put my degree to good use. I plan on keeping the basis the same: a semi-biographical piece of fiction. So stay tuned to see how all of these plans DON'T go this way!
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Now just a quick note to two of my best friends: Chris and Jessica
I love the both of you and I am glad things worked out the way they have for you. As much as certain situations may suck in regards to nursing programs, don't we all believe that THAT actually worked out for the best too in many ways? As much as it pains me to know that by the time Jessica reads this (because she's a blog subscriber! Get on it, Chris!) you will probably be setting up shop back home in Olympia, it is a great feeling knowing that the baby girl will be born with the immediate families present. I know you never planned it the way your life is occurring right now, but maybe it was actually meant to be that way. We can have our plans, but if God has a plan for us, I believe he has the power to overrule us.
In closing, I do want to thank the both of you for everything in the short time that we were together for. I appreciate the fact that you guys never treated me any differently after the breakup and that you two are both mature enough to remain neutral to the both of us. I appreciate the fact that you welcomed Ashlee into your hearts as if she an extension of me. I appreciate all of the food and the electric wok that was given to us yesterday. I have so many fond memories with both of you that I would never trade for anything. I would list them all, but I am pretty sure it would explode due to it's length (that's what she said). As I told you both before, you truly made Washington feel like home to me. I left everything behind in New Jersey and you guys both turned into a happy constant in my life. I am excited for the next chapter in your lives almost as much as I am excited for my next chapter. And you know what gets me super-excited? The fact that within a few months, we will actually live relatively close to one another. I am sure Ashlee would love to babysit! But to end this, I just want to wish you both the best of luck with everything and that you will be missed greatly on this side of the state. Thank God for Xbox Live! Jessica, Chris, I love you both and soon we will all be together again.
